Porn Proofing Booster #4: Screen Time

Booster #4: Screen Time: Acceptance and understanding of responsible use of screen time. 

OVERVIEW
When a young person receives a sexualized message it will almost always be on a screen, most likely a handheld device. Things have changed. Begin early in teaching appropriate use of screen time.   Ask questions about media messaging (Media literacy) including books romance novels, movies, still pictures, blogs, advertisements etc etc.

God's Word vs. Satan's Word

PREACHING OF THE WORD
-is more powerful upon the minds of people than the sword or anything else.

Words are powerful - Satan and God use words to influence us.

We learn this principle here:

And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them—therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God."  Alma 31:5

Word of God
We readily realize the power of "God's Word." Topical Guide "Word of God"

Coming To A School Near You -LGBTQ

Here is an example of how I am inoculating my granddaughter using Porn Proofing Kids concept. (See: Porn Proofing Kids Intro and Porn Proofing Kids Directions.)

An example of administering a Gender Booster.

Coming to a School Near You

" Lafferty said, ….it would not be a stretch to believe the changes could lead to troubling bathroom situations and to boys and girls sharing locker room changing areas..."

Yes the news article noted - IF Fairfax County School Board approves the new policy of allowing "sexual orientation and gender identity" to be listed as part of non-discrimination, then the concern is genders may be allowed to mix in bathrooms and locker rooms. (Furthermore, in some cases where schools are found to have failed to comply, the U.S. Education Department may terminate federal funding. But that's another blog.)

"Muscles and Men" and a 9-year old boy.

Here is an example of how I inoculated my grandson using Porn Proofing Kids concept. (See: Porn Proofing Kids Intro and Porn Proofing Kids Directions.)

An example of administering a Body Booster.

My wife and I were babysitting our four grandchildren in Hibbard Idaho last week. Pretty rural community next to BYU Idaho in Rexburg-nothing to worry about right? Our grandsons have great parents trying their best to raise great kids.

Are You Too "GOOD" To Be Deceived?

King David

Yes, David the Lord's Anointed, King and Prophet was deceived by Satan's Special Forces. He lusts after Bathsheba and sins. Watch this short video.

Oliver Cowdery

"D&C 28: 11–16, Satan deceived Hiram Page and gave him false revelations....
Hiram Page, a member of the Church, had a certain stone and professed to be receiving revelations by its aid concerning the upbuilding of Zion and the order of the Church. Several members had been deceived by these claims, and even Oliver Cowdery was wrongly influenced thereby...  "

Intimacy Booster Resources

See: Porn Proofing Booster #3: Intimacy

OVERVIEW
We touch people differently when being affectionate than when being courteous. A handshake may be courteous; holding hands can be affectionate. Youth need to see you being both courteous and affectionate. You can teach them how to be affectionate by hugging or giving them a gentle kiss, playing games with them, talking to and touching them gently, and telling them you love them. It is crucial that you continue the warm and loving acceptance that helped your children establish their gender identity and healthy intimacy in earlier years. Children should learn that Natural Affection is healthy and desirable. Give your children many direct opportunities to experience positive and caring relationships at home, church and at school. Help children express and receive appropriate positive affection with important people in their lives. Teach them that healthy intimacy leads to healthy sexuality. And that healthy sexuality is a gift from God.

Porn Proofing Booster #3: Intimacy

#3: Intimacy Booster: Acceptance and understanding of healthy touching, affection, and sexual relations. 

OVERVIEW
We touch people differently when being affectionate than when being courteous. A handshake may be courteous; holding hands can be affectionate. Youth need to see you being both courteous and affectionate. You can teach them how to be affectionate by hugging or giving them a gentle kiss, playing games with them, talking to and touching them gently, and telling them you love them. It is crucial that you continue the warm and loving acceptance that helped your children establish their gender identity and healthy intimacy in earlier years. Children should learn that Natural Affection is healthy and desirable. Give your children many direct opportunities to experience positive and caring relationships at home, church and at school. Help children express and receive appropriate positive affection with important people in their lives. Teach them that healthy intimacy leads to healthy sexuality. And that healthy sexuality is a gift from God.

Gender Booster Resources

See: Porn Proofing Booster #2: Gender

OVERVIEW
Gender focuses upon the social interaction associated with being male or female. Parents can help youth to develop a good foundation for intimacy and eventually marrying a member of the opposite sex. Teach youth to understand true principles about how a son or daughter of God should relate to others in his or her gender role. Gender roles are necessary to the eternal family, as ordained of God. Gender is an essential part of our premortal, mortal and eternal identity and purpose.

GENDER BOOSTERS
Remember, as an Inspired Parent with Common Sense you determine the dose size, the frequency of administration, and the timing of the immunization boosters. 

ADMINISTERING THE ACTUAL BOOSTER 
As directed in Porn Proofing Booster #2: Gender you initially simply Take Your Child's Temperature by asking questions, shutting-up and listening. At a later time - of your choice- you administer the actual booster. See: Porn Proofing Kids - Directions. Here are samples of specific "booster resources" you may consider as an Inspired Parent with Common Sense.

It is time to start a discussion about "Gender Boosters" with your kid!

Booster: Teach the Difference Between Male and Female. When a kid is young educate about the difference between male and female bodies. As your kid grows teach them there are many behaviors appropriate for both men and women. For example, learning to work hard; being honest; developing virtues of Christ; and magnifying spiritual gifts are important to us all. However, God teaches us there are some real differences between the two genders besides the physical differences. This means that there are some exclusive things men are to do and some that women are to do.  Your kid should understand and accept the "two" divinely mandated genders, male and female.

Booster Resources: 
Differences Inherent Between Men and Women. Eternal Marriage Student Manual 2003
Chapter 4: Teaching Children: From Four to Eleven Years Old. A Parent's Guide. LDS.org
Gender Is An Essential Characteristic. LDS.org (Video 1.52)
For Time and All Eternity. Boyd K. Packer Conference Talk October 1993
Male Female and the Lord. Elaine A. Cannon. BYU Speeches February 1970

Booster: Encourage God's Assigned Roles for Males.  Gender is an essential characteristic of eternal identity and purpose. Roles for males did not begin on earth and they do not end here. Men are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide for their families. In addition to many other responsibilities, males are to hold the priesthood, perform priesthood ordinances and give blessings. Discourage today's promotion of males / boys as  “macho and aggressive.” Promote the father as presiding in the home with the assistance and counsel of his wife. Teaching God's view of "Family" is critical for youth to learn their respective gender role.

Booster Resources: 
Men's Divine Roles and Responsibilities. Eternal Marriage Student Manual 2003
Fatherhood an Eternal Calling L. Tom Perry, Conference Apr 2004
Earthly Father, Heavenly Father. LDS.org (Video 4.00)
Fatherhood. Mormon.org
The Role of Fathers. A. Theodore Tuttle, Ensign Jan 1974

Booster: Encourage God's Assigned Roles for Females. Gender is an essential characteristic of eternal identity and purpose. Roles for females did not begin on earth and they do not end here. In addition to many other responsibilities, females are to give birth and nurture children. Discourage today's promotion of females / girls as “helpless, skinny, or sexy.” Promote motherhood as the highest, holiest service assumed by humankind. Teaching God's view of "Family" is critical for youth to learn their respective gender role.

Booster Resources: 

“Guardians of the Hearth”: Establishing, Nurturing, and Defending the Family in Daughters in My Kingdom The History and Work of Relief Society.
Mothers Who Know, Julie E. Beck, Conference 2007.

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God, Jeffrey R. Holland -Video
It was Mom,- Video
Mothers Teaching Children in the Home. L. Tom Perry, Conference 2010.
The Sacred Responsibilities of Parents. M. Russell Ballard, BYU Speeches, 2003. See 3.Mothers
The Blessings and Responsibilities of Womanhood. Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign, March 1976. 

The Sacred Responsibilities of Parenthood M. Russell Ballard Ensign, March 2006.

Booster: Teach Marriage Between a Man and a Woman is Ordained of God. God's position is clear: Sexual activity should only occur between a man and a woman who are married. There is between the male and female bodies a supernal power. A power essential to God's plan. This supernal power to create life and give birth belongs to the Gods and shared only to those here on earth who have received bodies.

Booster Resources:
MormonsandGays.org
LGBT ... PRBFMP  Dr. Rick's Blog
Marriage Is Essential To His Eternal Plan. David A. Bednar. Liahona 2006.

First Presidency Statement on Same-Gender Attraction News story Oct 2004

Family is Central to the Creator's Plan  LDS.org (Video 3.22)

The Family Is Ordained of God  LDS.org (Video 9.26)
No Other Gods LDS.org (Video 1.27)
What is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' attitude regarding homosexuality and same sex marriage? Mormon.org

CHALLENGE:

Review Porn Proofing Kids Series:

A Fence or an Ambulance - How's your family dealing with Porn?

Porn Proofing Kids - Intro
Porn Proofing Booster #1: The Body
Body Booster Resources
Porn Proofing Booster #2: Gender

Gender Booster Resources

Porn Proofing Booster #3: Intimacy
Intimacy Booster Resources

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What Do Twinkies And Porn Have In Common?

TWINKIE is
SYNTHETIC COUNTERFEIT PROCESSED FOOD 
A Twinkie is an American snack cake, marketed as a "Golden Sponge Cake with Creamy Filling". Steve Ettlinger, the author of the book “Twinkie, Deconstructed” spent months of his life interviewing chemical engineers, questioning industrial bakers and even traveling 1,600 feet below the surface of the Earth to see where Twinkie ingredients are mined. (Mined!) To be sure, the Twinkie contains easily recognizable ingredients, such as flour, sugar, water, eggs, whey and salt. But Ettlinger dug and dug until he understood what the terms Polysorbate 60, Red 40, mono and diglycerides and calcium sulfate really meant. (Spoiler alert: Calcium sulfate is a food-grade equivalent of plaster of Paris.) Five ingredients come from rocks. Twinkie ingredients come from phosphate mines in Idaho, gypsum mines in Oklahoma, and oil fields in China.(See: Pictures of Twinkie's ingredients)  Ettlinger writes, many of the Twinkie’s ingredients are “more closely linked to rocks and petroleum than any of the four food groups.” Twinkie is barely a "food" with almost no nutritional value. Some researchers suggest that the body has difficulty even recognizing a Twinkie as food.  The food industry discovered a Twinkie with it's sugar, fat, and salt - creates a huge dopamine rush to the brain. Enough to make us feel our body needs and wants more.

A Twinkie is nutritionally worthless yet irresistibly yummy.

Twinkie artificially enhanced modified food that is not good for you.

Twinkie vs. Whole grain bread.

If you're training for a race, don't eat Twinkies.

PORN is
SYNTHETIC COUNTERFEIT PROCESSED SEX 
Porn has become an American past time, marketed as a "Adult entertainment    a harmless habit." A person's sexual brain chemicals result in "pleasure" any time the sexual response is triggered. However, the experience varies depending on what triggers the response. Unnatural stimulation of the sexual response results in an synthetic artificially modified sexual experience.  Today's culture emphasizes the sexual pleasurable experience at the expense of a "real" relationship. Current research suggest pornography makes women into objects of desire rather than real people.  Pornography sabotages one's ability to have intimacy with a partner. Another study concluded that prolonged exposure to pornography affects the user’s sexual and personal happiness. For instance, porn increases distrust and dissatisfaction with one’s partner; it increases acceptance of infidelity and male-dominated relationships, and it decreases the desire to marry or raise a family.  (See: Pornharms.org and Fightthenewdrug.org)  The sex industry discovered pornography with explicit sexual images - creates a huge dopamine rush to the brain. Enough to make us feel our body needs and wants more.

Porn is virtuously worthless yet irresistibly pleasurable.

Porn artificially enhanced modified sex that is not good for you.

Porn vs. Sexual relations between husband and wife.

If you ever want an intimate relationship with a "real" partner, don't watch porn.

CHALLENGE

Explain to someone you love the following concept:
"Twinkie" is to "wholesome nutritious food" as "Porn" is to "healthy sexual intimacy".

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A Seared Conscience By 14. Impossible?

Joe, a 14 year-old client sat across from me. He is active member of the LDS Church and participates in his Teacher quorum responsibilities.  He had originally been charged with two sexual felonies. With a plea bargain he ended up with two misdemeanors.  He and a same-age male messaged pictures to each other of their genitalia on Facebook. Using a gaming device, my client later shared these pictures with other male peers at his junior high. His school mates -also members of his Teacher quorum - told on him. The school cop got involved. His behavior was discovered. His parents learned for the first time from the school about Joe's sexual concerns.

So I began the evaluation...

I'm born that way
During the sexual history I asked about his sexual thoughts and feelings. He explained he has had sexual thoughts and feelings about both same-age males and females. He admitted he had kissed and hugged both-males and females. He explained,  "I was born this way. I have attraction to both. There's nothing wrong with it."  I asked him to explain. He went on to say "I wanted to join the LGBT Club but my parents wouldn't let me. So I learned all about being bisexual from the LGBT Facebook Page." (Over a million Facebook fans). I confronted him about being members of both the LDS Church and LGBT Facebook group. He was offended to think he couldn't do both.

Sure I masturbate every boy does

When I asked about masturbation he replied "Sure I masturbate every boy does." I asked about frequency and he replied "About every couple of days. It helps me relax."  He went on to explain the research supporting why masturbation was healthy for him. When asked about viewing porn he quickly stated "No, that's wrong. I wouldn't do that."  I reminded him about his "porn charges." He explained "that was different." He had been masturbating for over a year to underwear and swimsuit adds from magazines that came to their home. 

As our discussion continued it was clear, at the ripe old age of 14, Joe had already achieved a Successful Sinner status. He demonstrated no remorse but yet had broken God's moral laws (See LGBT...PRBFMP) and the state criminal laws. He saw no great harm in his sexual interests and recent sexual behaviors. In fact, he described himself as being quite popular at school "Since I've come out about being Bi." He viewed the current court process more of an inconvenience than anything else. 

Satan and his special forces (See: Satan's Special Forces) have provided sufficient rationalizations and justifications to justify sin. 

I thought to myself, where in the heck is Joe's....

 Parents and weekly Family Home Evening like Page 235

Father and weekly personal interviews

Bishop and annual and six month interview asking about masturbation

Seminary Teacher and this great Teaching Video

Sunday School Class and Come Follow Me -August

Young Men's Leader Aaronic Priesthood Lesson

 Grandparents, etc etc

All these layers of protection failed in Joe's case.

Joe claimed no one at church or at home ever talked to him about sex stuff
- No one!
If this is true, then

The judgement of God surely stares us in the face. (Helaman 4:23)

"We would avoid mentioning these unholy terms and these reprehensible practices were it not for the fact that we have a responsibility to the youth of Zion that they be not deceived by those who would call bad good, and black white." (Spencer W. Kimball Speaks Out on Morality General Conference Oct 1980)

Conscience seared with a hot iron 

Every day I meet youth and adults like Joe. Wickedness no longer brings humiliation, embarrassment, or shame. Even when they have felony criminal charges. Their first response is typically one of justification and rationalization for their behavior - "having their conscience seared with a hot iron." (1 Timothy 4:1-2) even though Joe is only 14! :(

I recommended...
Joe be locked up for at least one weekend and successfully complete outpatient sex-specific treatment. Using the sexual response to cope with stress is a risk factor for future problems. His view of his illegal behavior being harmless warrants attention.   Given his young age, I have hope he can change how sex influences his life.

CHALLENGE
Paul tells us that a conscience being seared with a hot iron is a sure sign of Christ's Second Coming (1 Timothy 4:1-2).
How close might we be to His return?

Consider Porn Proofing Your Kid.


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