Porn Proofing Booster #2: Gender

Booster #2: Gender: Acceptance and understanding of gender roles as defined by God. 

OVERVIEW
Gender focuses upon the social interaction associated with being male or female. Parents can help youth to develop a good foundation for intimacy and eventually marrying a member of the opposite sex. Teach youth to understand true principles about how a son or daughter of God should relate to others in his or her gender role. Gender roles are necessary to the eternal family, as ordained of God. Gender is an essential part of our premortal, mortal and eternal identity and purpose.

GENDER BOOSTERS
Remember, as an Inspired Parent with Common Sense you determine the dose size, the frequency of administration, and the timing of the immunization boosters. For a quick review see: Porn Proofing Kids: Directions.

Here are a sample of essential Body Boosters for Porn Proofing Kids.  

• Teach the Difference Between Male and Female. When a kid is young educate about the difference between male and female bodies. As your kid grows teach them there are many behaviors appropriate for both men and women. For example, learning to work hard; being honest; developing virtues of Christ; and magnifying spiritual gifts are important to us all. However, God teaches us there are some real differences between the two genders besides the physical differences. This means that there are some exclusive things men are to do and some that women are to do.  Your kid should understand and accept the "two" divinely mandated genders, male and female.

• Encourage God's Assigned Roles for Males.  Gender is an essential characteristic of eternal identity and purpose. Roles for males did not begin on earth and they do not end here. Men are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide for their families. In addition to many other responsibilities, males are to hold the priesthood, perform priesthood ordinances and give blessings. Discourage today's promotion of males / boys as  “macho and aggressive.” Promote the father as presiding in the home with the assistance and counsel of his wife.  Teaching God's view of "Family" is critical for youth to learn their respective gender role.

• Encourage God's Assigned Roles for Females. Gender is an essential characteristic of eternal identity and purpose. Roles for females did not begin on earth and they do not end here. In addition to many other responsibilities, females are to give birth and nurture children. Discourage today's promotion of females / girls as “helpless, skinny, or sexy.” Promote motherhood as the highest, holiest service assumed by humankind. Teaching God's view of "Family" is critical for youth to learn their respective gender role.

• Teach Marriage Between a Man and a Woman is Ordained of God. God's position is clear: Sexual activity should only occur between a man and a woman who are married. There is between the male and female bodies a supernal power. A power essential to God's plan. This supernal power to create life and give birth belongs to the Gods and shared only to those here on earth who have received bodies. 

TEMP TAKING IDEAS

FOR GENDER BOOSTER NEEDS

A BOOSTER is a dose of an extra administration after an earlier dose had already been given. A booster injection or booster dose is a re-exposure to the immunizing medicine - in our case specific "skills and knowledge".  Repeated "boosters" increase immunity to Satan's inappropriate use of God's sexual arousal system. For example, tetanus shot boosters are often recommended every 10 years. Porn Proofing Booster Immunizations are recommended  P.R.N. as needed. Multiple Anti-Porn Boosters are required. The single dose of a "Birds and Bees Talk" is ineffective. (Even though it may have worked for our parents with you and I.) Ideally, parents, grandparents, church leaders, school officials unite as a "village" administering appropriate and timely boosters.

Remember in Porn Proofing Kids - Directions we talked about how you take a child's temperature.

ASK QUESTIONS! 
Directions in taking temperatures:

• First: ASK A QUESTION as you become aware of  a sexual message from TV, print, billboard, music, video game, cereal box, news, etc etc. OR create the conversation on your own.
• Second: SAY NOTHING (That's right shut-up): LISTEN with the intent to discern which Porn Proofing Booster is required; how strong of a Booster Dose is needed; and when best to deliver the Booster.

For now, do NOT worry about the Third: TEACH step.
Just ASK, shut-up and LISTEN.

Sample Questions That Take "Gender" Temperatures
I understand many of you may have difficulty in approaching these topics. Perhaps, you may personally have some doubt about the truthfulness of Gender Boosters. 

Nevertheless, our children are influenced by very powerful gender misinformation. You need to take the temperatures of your kids on these very sensitive gender related issues and get prepared to deliver a gender booster.

• FIND or DRAW a picture of a “beautiful” girl and /or “handsome” boy. ASK: What makes him handsome? Her beautiful?

• WATCH this video Gender is an Essential Characteristic. ASK: What's the best way for you to decide what a boy/girl should do? How do you decide what you should do as a male / female?

• REVIEW this website Ordain Women. ASK: Do you think women should hold the priesthood? Why? Do you think God wants women to hold the priesthood? Why?

• WATCH this short video announcing 2014- High court refuses to rule -- and gives tacit victory -- on same-sex marriage.  Same-sex marriage in Utah is now legal. ASK: How do you feel about same-sex marriage? Why? How does God feel about same-sex marriage?  Why?

• READ this paragraph from The Family Proclamation to the World

...Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children... We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.  ASK: What do you want to do when you grow-up? Why? What does God want you to do when you grow-up? Why?

• ASK what does LGBT mean?  How does God feel about a heterosexual? Those persons with lesbian, gay, bisexuals, and transgender feelings? How does God feel about their behavior? 

As an Inspired Parent with Common Sense  you may think of others.

REMEMBER
You might ask why be so blunt about gender and other sexual topics? Boyd K. Packer quotes J. Reuben Clark saying

[Our youth are] hungry for things of the spirit; they are eager to learn the Gospel, and they want it straight, undiluted. They want to know about … our beliefs; they want to gain testimonies of their truth; they are not now doubters but inquirers, seekers after truth. … You do not have to sneak up behind this spiritually experienced youth and whisper religion in [their] ears; you can come right out, face to face, and talk with [them]. … You can bring these truths to [them] openly. … Youth may prove to be not more fearful of them than you are. There is no need for gradual approaches... (“Ye Are A Temple of Your God” Boyd K. Packer, Conference Talks, October 2000)

CHALLENGE
Take your child's Gender Booster temperature Today!
Determine if there is a need to administer one of the above Gender Boosters in your home.

Review Porn Proofing Kids Series:

A Fence or an Ambulance - How's your family dealing with Porn?

Porn Proofing Kids - Intro
Porn Proofing Kids - Directions
Porn Proofing Booster #1: The Body
Body Booster Resources
Porn Proofing Booster #2: Gender

Gender Booster Resources
Porn Proofing Booster #3: Intimacy
Intimacy Booster Resources

dr rick
dr rick's blog index
®2014 dr rick  

I'm Sober Today.

I'm not sure you should read this story.

I've debated for several days whether I should even share it at all.

In many ways it's "Dark." 

But it teaches so much about the importance of "Light."

Earthly View
In 1955 a young couple, I'll call Adam and Eve, met. They fell in love and got married in the Salt Lake Temple. Adam successfully completed a mission. He spent his career working as a teacher in a junior high. Eve, like a good LDS mom, stayed at home and raised a family of five children. They went to church, they read the scriptures, had family prayer, Adam and Eve frequented the temple together etc etc. They did the things you and I try to do. They were a "good" LDS Family. They held the typical LDS callings in Relief Society, High Priests etc etc. Eventually the kids left home and started their own family. Adam and Eve had 19 grandchildren. They enjoyed one another on Holidays and frequently visited each other's homes. They seemed to be doing everything right. Since a child Adam learned about his personal armor of prayer, scripture study, .... to protect himself (See: Your Personal Armor). Over the years Adam refused to engage in any major sin. Sure he had some challenges. For example from time to time Adam looked at a little porn and masturbated. Nothing major. In fact he never even had to talk to his bishop or wife about his sexual behavior --until the incidents with the little neighbor girl, Angelica. Six-year old Angelica loved Adam and Eve like her own grandparents. They had been neighbors and best friends most of her life. Adam was 81 years old. One day in Sacrament Meeting...  his eternity changed. And he found himself a few weeks later in the Bishop's office confessing his inappropriate touching of Angelica. His guilt and shame became overwhelming. He just had to tell.

Satan's View
In 1933 Adam was born of "goodly parents." The moment Adam turned 8 years old Satan -the Prince of Darkness, assigned Adam his personal devils - Abaddon, Loki, and Sedit. (See: You Have A Personal Devil). They were among the best of Satan's angels. Satan was aware of Adam's great potential for building God's Kingdom from the years they spent together in the preexistence. Although Adam had forgotten these years, Satan had not. From time-to-time Satan assigned Special Forces to assist Adam's personal devils. As a teenager the Alcohol Special Forces tried and tried to get Adam to drink. He wouldn't.  Later Special Forces of Contention, Lieing, Dishonesty, etc etc each tempted Adam, but failed. In those days, Adam made sure to put on his complete Armor of God everyday. When Adam was 21, Abaddon the chief personal devil, consulted with the Lust Special Forces. They agreed to use The King David of Old method. (See: To Look Upon) After hundreds of years of use the Special Forces had perfected this strategy. Lust  would surely lure Adam to the dark side. The Special Forces engineered "accidental" viewing of porn on days that Adam was particularly discouraged and bored. It took a few years but it began to work.  By age 24 Adam began "seeking out" occasional porn and masturbating a little. Satan's forces were encouraged! Satan reminded Abaddon to take their time with getting Adam to commit "The Big Sin". See: The Safest Road To Hell is Gradual. Adam's personal devils and Lust Special Forces were patient, waiting for days when that he failed to put on all his personal armor .... One day in Sacrament Meeting ... it happened. Angelica was sitting on Adam's lap singing the Sacrament Hymn. She was snuggling up against his chest like she always did. The moment had arrived. It was time. Abaddon whispered the thought into Adam's ear (See: 2 Nephi 28: 22) "Touch Angelica's private under the song book. No one would see."

He did.

Satan looked up and laughed, and his angels rejoiced.!!! (See: Moses 7:26) (For a moment I imagined I heard them.)

Satan is making war ... He is working under such perfect disguise that many do not recognize either him or his methods. There is no crime he would not commit, no debauchery he would not set up, no plague he would not send, no heart he would not break, no life he would not take, no soul he would not destroy... (The Message of The First Presidency of the Church, Improvement Era, 1942)

Dr. Rick's View
Adam's attorney called me to make the referral. He noted 81 year old Adam had four 1st degree felony sex charges. (A 1st Degree felony is the same as murder.) I joked with the attorney saying, "Wow the prosecutor must have been having a bad hair day to place those serious charges." I read the court papers about how Adam had touched Angelica a couple of times, once in church.  I thought to myself, whoever this guy is, he is probably going to go to prison for a very long time. I had my first appointment with Adam and Eve. I was surprised they were elderly. They were both so kind and considerate They just came from the Bishop's office. They informed me how they've been praying and reading the scriptures since the charges were filed. Over the next few days I completed the standard sexual testing. I became acquainted with Adam and Eve. When asked about his inappropriate touching Adam explained "I don't know what came over me. The thought just came into my mind and I did it." He admitted he had been masturbating around that time of the offenses and was viewing a little porn. His wife of over 50 years was shocked to hear he had these secrets. Finally, it was time for the last interview. I needed to go over the results. It didn't look good. I thought to myself, "How am I going to tell Adam and Eve, that Adam was likely going to die in the Utah State Prison?" I couldn't do it. Way too painful. :( I rationalized saying, let the attorney do it. So I encouraged them to continue their prayers and to have faith. By now, Adam had lost 35 pounds. He wasn't sleeping or eating. He had already been excommunicated from the Church for his charges. He was riddled with guilt and shame. Eve's heart was broken. She had recently been prescribed an antidepressant to help her deal with the emotional pain. Their first court date was in a couple of weeks. At one point in the interview Eve's eyes swelled with tears.  She looked at Adam tapped him on the leg saying "Why did you do this to me?" Adam hung his head with no response.

There are no words powerful enough to represent the pain and despair Adam and Eve were now experiencing.

My soul was touched.

I've had a lot of powerful experiences in my 35 year mental health career. I've dealt with plenty of murderers, rapists, child molesters, suicides etc etc most of which have been Mormons. I'm sober today as I am reminded once more of the power and effectiveness of Satan and his Special Forces. (See: Satan Exposed)

In referring to the perils of our day, I do not intend to inspire fear, but soberness. Being sober means being earnest and serious in assessing your circumstances and careful and circumspect in weighing the consequences of your actions. Soberness therefore yields good judgment, as well as measured conduct. No wonder then that prophets counsel young men to be sober.  (Alma 37:47; Alma 38:13; Titus 2:6) Remember Mormon’s observation that what made Helaman’s 2,000 stripling warriors so effective in battle was not just their courage, strength, and trustworthiness, but their “soberness.” (Alma 53: 20-21) Mormon valued such a trait because he was blessed to possess it himself. It was Mormon who was entrusted with the sacred records of the Nephite nation at only 10 years of age because he was a “sober child” and “quick to observe.” (Mormon 1:2)  And it was Mormon who, at age 15, was “visited of the Lord” and “knew of the goodness of Jesus” because he was of a “sober mind.” (Mormon 1:15)  (Winning the War Against Evil, Elder James Hamula, Conference October 2008)

CHALLENGE
"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 

I wish this wasn't true. :(

Abaddon, Loki, Sedit and Satan's Special Forces

dr rick
dr rick's blog index
®2014 dr rick  

Why Are We So Unhappy?

• Their daughter called saying she just found porn on her husband's notebook. In tears she asked mom to come pick up the kids so she could talk to her husband about her discovery.
• The doctor informed the parents they have to do brain surgery on their 16 year-old son.  He's a very sick boy. He died during surgery.
• After 27 years of marriage he told her he was leaving and he didn't love her anymore. He wanted a divorce.
• The utilities are due. The house payment hasn't been made for months. The kids are hungry. The check is still "in the mail."

If happiness is a choice why are so many of us unhappy?

I cannot tell you how to avoid trouble, difficulty or disappointments, as you go through life. You and I will have opposition. However, there is a way to be "happy" while  experiencing trials and tribulations. We can’t control the circumstances of life. We can control our own happiness and how we view those circumstances. 

Besides, most of us have already learned that our happiness cannot be dependent upon our circumstances -having or being certain things. That is, happiness is not dependent upon how much money we have; how much and what kind of clothes we can wear; the kind of houses we are able to live in; whether our body is healthy or not; if our friends are in the "in-crowd"; and things like that.

In other words. happiness does not depend upon whether you have one red cent in the bank or a million dollars. Happiness does not depend on whether you live in the slum or a palace, wear homemade clothes or furs. Happiness is not associated with whether you are in a wheelchair or running marathons. In fact, if you think about it - the "pursuit of happiness" in "having or doing these things" is what keeps us from being happy!

"Happiness is a condition of the soul. 

This joyous state comes as a result of righteous living."

 (True Happiness a Conscious Decision, Benjamin De Hoyos, Conference 2005)

Happiness is not just a choice. It begins with a choice but requires us to follow the path that leads to happiness. It takes effort and determination to successfully follow any mountain path, even the path to happiness.

Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God. (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 255–56)

That doesn't mean God expects us to be perfect. He knows we won’t be. But He does expect that while we are here on earth we try to the best of our ability to be more like Him and that we learn and grow from life challenges. Following “the great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8) eventually leads to happiness  (dah...You think? - It's a law - "he that keepeth the law, happy is he" -Proverbs 29:18).

FOLLOW THE PATH OF HAPPINESS

Happiness is defined in the Book of Mormon by the prophet-king Benjamin as

... the blessed and happy state of those [that] keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual. (Mosiah 2:41)

Dieter F. Uchtdorf says it this way:

The older we get, the more we look back and realize that external circumstances don’t really matter or determine our happiness. … We determine our happiness.” (“Of Regrets and Resolutions,” Ensign Nov. 2012)

And how could we forget The Family: A Proclamation to the World:

Happiness in Family Life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. 

Perhaps David O. McKay summed it up the best:

Wherein then does the secret of happiness lie? The Savior gives us the key to it when he says: "The kingdom of God is within you." ... Happiness is not an external condition, it is a state of the spirit and an attitude of the mind. (Gospel Ideals: Selections From The Discourses of David O Mckay, Chapter 36: Philosophy of Happiness, Pg. 495)

God has never just given any of us happiness.
Happiness doesn't work that way.
It is not a gift.

Happiness is the result of living a certain way 
and following a certain path. 

I'm trying to persuade you to look for happiness inside you - like "between your left and right ear" and earn it like a paycheck - by how you live -
so that when the trouble comes,
when your difficulties arise,
when you face disappointments,

as you surely will, 

you can still experience happiness.

CHALLENGE
READ: Luke 17:20-21
STOP.
PONDER.
WATCH. Happiness is the Sum of Obedience

DON'T FORGETS
DON'T FORGET #1: Don't forget a person with mental illness has less ability to experience happiness in the way described above. See:  YEA! For Elder Holland's Talk on Mental Illness.

DON'T FORGET #2: Don't forget "Pleasure" and "Happiness" are two different things. See: Pleasures of Sin

dr rick
dr rick's blog index
®2014 dr rick 

Body Booster Resources

See: Porn Proofing Booster #1: The Body

OVERVIEW
Encourage youth to establish habits of good nutrition, hygiene, grooming, and exercise. Help them to accept their body's divine nature and destiny.  Teach them that they are in control of who touches their bodies and how. Remind them "they are the boss of their body." Each youth goes through puberty. Begin early helping them to prepare for these predictable body changes. Teach correct names for body parts and functions. Remind youth often about the biological nature of God's sexual response and their Spirit's responsibility to manage their body's sexual response.

BODY BOOSTERS
Remember, as an Inspired Parent with Common Sense you determine the dose size, the frequency of administration, and the timing of the immunization boosters.

ADMINISTERING THE ACTUAL BOOSTER
As directed in Porn Proofing Booster #1: The Body you initially simply Take Your Child's Temperature by asking questions, shutting-up and listening. At a later time - of your choice- you administer the actual booster.  See: Porn Proofing Kids - Directions. Here are samples of specific "booster resources" you may consider as an Inspired Parent with Common Sense. 

It is time to start a discussion about "Body Boosters" with your kid! 

Booster: Repeat often the concept that the Body is a Temple. As old as this saying is, it is critical to help youth understand and accept Paul's teaching (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). Our bodies were created in the image of God. They are a gift from Heavenly Father to allow us to experience mortality, procreate, and continue to become more like Him. To the extent youth understand and accept this concept is the extent they dress modestly, have a tattoo free body, and recognizes appropriate touch.

Booster Resources:
Why I Should Treat My Body Like A Temple Aaronic Priesthood- Come Follow Me
Why I Should Treat My Body Like A Temple Young Women - Come Follow Me
My Body Is A Temple By Marissa Widdison, Liahona, July 2014
The Body Is A Temple Home and Family Education Chapter 8
Ye Are The Temple Of God By Boyd K. Packer, Conference October 2000
Tattoos And Piercings Gordon B. Hinckley speaks against tattoos. (Video 1:29)
Bodies Are Temples Thomas S. Monson talks how our bodies are temples of God. (Video 4:41)

Booster: Use Correct Names for Body Parts and Functions. One way to reinforce "The Body is a Temple" is to immediately begin using scientific names for sexual parts and functions. Never use slang! Slang terms are not in keeping with the divine origin of our bodies. For example use "Breasts" not "Boobs" and "Penis" not "Weenie" etc

Booster Resources:
Chapter 4: Teaching Children: from Four to Eleven Years A Parent's Guide, LDS.Org.
Sexual Curiosity Focus On the Family
Talking With Your Children About Moral Puberty Ensign, December 1986 Talks about Masturbation

Booster: Have Open Discussions About Puberty. By age 10 or 11 a young person should have a general understanding about what is about to happen to their bodies during puberty. In many ways, "preparing for puberty" is like "preparing for baptism." (Both are a baptism by fire!) Provide lessons and multiple discussions about puberty. Early on in puberty parents should have additional detailed discussions about topics like menstruation for girls and wet-dreams for boys.

Booster Resources:
How To Talk To Your Child About Puberty By Robert Crown Centers For Health Education. This site has a variety of great resources including an excellent video- How To Discuss Puberty
Chapter 4: Teaching Children: from Four to Eleven Years A Parent's Guide, LDS.Org.
Chapter 5: Teaching Adolescents from Twelve to Eighteen A Parent's Guide, LDS.Org.
Teaching Children About Physical Development By Lynn Scoresby Ensign, June 1988
Teaching About Procreation and Chastity Family Home Evening Manual
Checklist for Puberty Talk With Your Daughter, Psychology Today
Puberty: The Second Fire Dr Rick's Blog
The Care and Keeping of You- The Body Book For Girls  American Girl

Booster: Teach Sexual Response as a Biological Response. This is one of those facts science has taught us in recent years. There is lots of resources teaching how brain chemistry relates to viewing pornography, touching and the sexual response. The sexual response although "God Given," functions through hormones and neurotransmitters. In order for a youth to control the sexual response they will have to first recognize their personal sexual response and the ability of their Spirit to control that response (See: Anatomy of a Soul.) It's your job as a parent to teach about that sacred response. NOT MINE!

Booster Resources:
God's Love Chemicals Dr Rick's Blog
Your Brain On Sexual Imagery  Science 2.0

CHALLENGE:
Ponder and pray about which child would benefit from which Body Booster. 
Find other Body Booster Resources and share with us on the comments section below.

An example of a Body Booster:
"Muscles and Men" and a 9 year old boy.

Review Porn Proofing Kids Series:

A Fence or an Ambulance - How's your family dealing with Porn?

Porn Proofing Kids - Intro
Porn Proofing Kids - Directions
Porn Proofing Booster #1: The Body
Body Booster Resources
Porn Proofing Booster #2: Gender

Gender Booster Resources
Porn Proofing Booster #3: Intimacy
Intimacy Booster Resources

dr rick
dr rick's blog index
®2014 dr rick