Overcoming Porn - A plain and simple path

"I've got a porn problem. 

I've tried everything. 

Nothing works."

The recently released Bishop cried in despair.  This is the second time he has been released from a church calling because of porn. (Initially he was on the High Council.)  He had relapsed... again.

This was my message to him and any other person wishing to strengthen and sustain a virtuous life. (By the way these steps work for changing any behavior, managing mental and physical illnesses, etc etc)

1) DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH RESOURCES?
I asked him a few questions about what he had been using as resources to overcome his porn habit. (See: Five To Survive). He replied going to the LDS Addiction Recovery Groups, Reading the Scriptures, attended the LifeStar Treatment Program and praying. I count four resources. Four is not five. Five is the LEAST amount of resources required ... My experience is it takes 10 resources for the first few months in overcoming a porn habit. (I also like referring to Sexaholics Anonymous groups).

I instructed the Bishop to get more resources if he wanted to strengthen and sustain a virtuous life.

2) DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT RESOURCES?
The soul has three components -The Spirit Body, The Mind, and The Physical Body. (See: Anatomy of a Soul) When a person becomes addicted ALL THREE COMPONENTS - the Spirit body, the Mind and the Physical body also become addicted. Remember "Porn Addiction" is very much an addition of the physical body. See: God's Love Chemicals. The brain changes. ... and yes the Spirit and the Mind also become addicted -  For example check out this: “Addiction to any substance enslaves not only the physical body but the spirit as well.”(Russell M. Nelson, Addiction or Freedom, Ensign, November 1988) 

I congratulated the Bishop on having resources that strengthen his Spirit (Reading the scriptures and praying) and also for strengthening his Mind (Attending treatment and recovery groups- these resources help to change the thinking errors and encourage thought control-all occurring in the mind.) However, the noticeably overweight Bishop has neglected strengthening his Physical Body. 

I encouraged the Bishop to add resources to strengthen him physically if he wanted to strengthen and sustain a virtuous life.

3) HAVE YOU BEEN USING THE RESOURCES LONG ENOUGH?
The Bishop recalled during his "first recovery from porn episode" he had and used many resources. However, recently his life had become too busy and he came to believe he didn't need all those resources NOW like he did THEN during his initial porn recovery. He had relapsed and had only been adding resources for the past few weeks. He was discouraged because the masturbation and lusting concerns were still overpowering. I compare resources to  seeds ... plant good seeds, nurture them, and they will grow. It's not uncommon for a person changing a habit to give up ...before the seeds/resources have a chance to sprout. They were doing all the right behaviors, but not for long enough time. The Law of the Harvest never fails. There is no exception to the Law of the Harvest. NEVER! (See: The Safest Road To Heaven Is Gradual)

I encouraged the Bishop to continue using his resources - over and over again - week after week -even though they may seem not to be working if he wanted to strengthen and sustain a virtuous life.

4) EXPECT AND DEAL WITH OPPOSITION ALONG THE WAY
I reminded the Bishop there will be opposition in his recovery.  (See: The Only Pathway-Opposition in All Things)  The initial "honeymoon" of recovery when you acknowledge you have a problem, you confess it to your wife and bishop, you stop using for a few weeks, and the humility and peace that usual accompanies those early days ... WILL in time disappear. Sooner than later the challenges created by opposition will influence you to realize a most powerful principle:

....overcoming a porn habit is indeed not about sex; not about porn; and not about your spouse or parents; but ... between you and God. (See: What Other People Think Of You Is None Of Your Business).

Almost always YOU WILL RELAPSE after your initial commitment to change this habit and promise never do it again.
Get over it! Use your resources.
Do not measure your success by how many times you slipped up ... measure by how successful you are in strengthening your virtuous life.

The porn habit is not more powerful than 

the correct use of the right resources 

and the Law of the Harvest.

I encouraged the Bishop to expect opposition and rely on a power greater than himself-God and press on if he wanted to strengthen and sustain a virtuous life.

5) LEARN HOW TO REPENT
See: "Stopping the Sin Does Not Equal Repentance"
I Reminded the Bishop about repentance.

CHALLENGE
Knowing human nature...
I thought about making this recovery process
... more difficult and perhaps a little confusing,
... or something you can't do on your own without me-or another professional,
... or maybe you have to buy and read a book first,
... or something really really hard to do and only a few people ever succeed,
... or etc etc

(It is amazing how many of those in recovery from porn think they deserve to be punished, to have all this shame and guilt... ....

it's like they never heard of the Atonement.)

Because overcoming porn is a plain and simple path and this blog is short and sweet.
I now have time left over to go re-plant my bean seeds in my garden.
The frost got them.

dr rick
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