Where did you learn about sex?

I usually don't watch tv but the other night I was laying on the floor on my back arch support (I'm getting old now)  Karla was watching the news. A comercial came on about NBC's NEW NORMAL promoting the acceptance of homosexual lifestyles.  I listened and watched. I was amazed at how brazen the 60 second commercial promoted same-sex behavior.

It must have been my lucky night - a few commercials later it was Victoria's Secret's turn!

We don't have satelitte or any subscription TV. Just regular TV so we don't get all the sex stuff, right? Having not watched much  TV my TV conscience was startled and offended by such explicit portrayal of sexual content in the commercials.

A few days later I was driving to do a fireside at a local young adult single ward. The Bishop had expressed a concern about the numerous sexual concerns with his ward members. He asked me to come out and visit with them about sexuality and pornography.

There I was driving down I-15 pondering how I could talk about sexuality to a group of single LDS young adults and randomly I looked up and saw this:

Well I thought - "Distract. Distract" that's a technique we teach to manage unwanted thoughts. I distracted by turning on the radio. I pressed the scan button jumping around and I landed on some station singing about "Let's Do It" - again very explicit sexual content. "Distract. Distract" right? But to what to I distract to now?  (I guess dr rick is going to sing "popcorn popping on the apricot tree")

I eventually arrived at the church house where about 150 young men and young women were waiting. I began by sharing how on my way to the church house I seen a Wendy's. I asked,

"What is Wendy's and why do people go there?"

Several hands were raised. We had a very comfortable conversation about fast foods and hunger and nutrition and etc. I then noted I saw a billboard for "Dr. John's"  and asked,

"What is Dr. John's and why do people go there?"

There was a silence. No hands were raised. I paused to let it sink in. (I"m sure the bishop was sqirming by now.) Obviously a discussion about sexual relations in an LDS Church house made many uncomfortable.

Later in my talk I asked when was the last time they had heard the words "Sexual Relations" in a LDS Church setting. ONE hand went up. His response "3 years ago."

My conclusion:

1) EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT SEXUAL RELATIONS, EXCEPT WE MORMONS!

2) WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE MY CHLDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN BEING TAUGHT ABOUT SEXUAL RELATIONS?

Let me pause here. For years as a professional psychologist I've been working with sex offenders.  Their crimes have ranged from viewing child porn, child molestation and rape. (Most of these offenders ARE LDS by the way.)  I listen for hours and hours to their stories.

Part of my interviewing requires me to ask:  "Where did you learn about sex?"  Over the past few years the typical responses have been: "At school in sex ed" and "from my friends."  (Of course I recognize the powerful influence of tv, music, and other media.)

I've never once, in the thousands and thousands of interviews, 

heard the answer: "The church." 

To my knowledge NO ONE has ever learned about sexual relations at church!

Now you might say, "dr rick of course not. That doesn't even make sense. Why would we need to talk about sex in the church?" Some might even add "Sex is evil!  We can't talk about that in church?"  Well I could bore you with stats about LDS porn use, LDS unwed mothers, LDS affairs and divorces, etc. etc.

But let's keep this discussion "plain and simple."

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children. The Family: A Proclamation To The World

Best I would suggest in a very direct way: "Sexual Relations" are ordained of God and central to the Creator's plan.

In answer to my own question, one of the most recent times I heard the words "Sexual Relations" in an LDS setting was a couple of weeks ago while doing an Endowment in the Bountiful Temple!

Challenge: Talk to someone you love in the Lord's Way about "Sexual Relations."